I don't believe it's a coincidence over the last 3 weeks or so, I've been announcing I would post this article, that something ALWAYS seemed to come up where it just wasn't possible. I don't care what I did, my intentions were to have this article on the blog before now.
I came across this video yesterday, and after I viewed it, I realized the article may NOT have had as much impact without it. Although the topic of the article is my assignment, and very much in the forefront of everything I do with Quite AParent and SiS (Sisters In Singleness) what you will witness in this video should drive the point home that we are long overdue for viable solutions to this kind of madness.
Take a look..........
I'm willing to bet this could happen in just about any city, at anytime, with any ethnic group of "women" and "men".
I'm also willing to bet, you've personally witnessed, or have seen directly, or indirectly by media such as YouTube, occurrences resembling this one. With all that said here is the first installment of When Did we Lose Control, an article written over 22 years ago.
I'm going to venture to say 85 -90% of the time, the decisions to have a child is not given much thought. Why? Because Couples who marry, generally don't have the "conversation" of their views on child rearing. Having a baby after all, is just part of the natural progression of what married couples do. Right? And Teen parents, well that's a completely different circumstance.
A man and woman meet, fall in love, choose to marry and have children. We've been taught to do that. But we haven't been trained to communicate effectively with one another, and our 20th century non-communicative practices are causing devastation in our 21st century family units.
I'm not certain, but I believe we're afraid to ask the necessary questions of our intended out of fear. We get caught up in our emotions, and bypass posing deep, thought provoking questions which may or may not alter the existence of the relationship. I firmly believe history of the individuals upbringing is vitally essential when making life commitments, and philosophies and practices of child raising should be discussed thoroughly, BEFORE you say "I do.
Teens who parent, or those engaged in "Casual Sex" on the other hand, have absolutely NO PLAN, and THIS is a concern that's been problematic for decades. A teen "parent" may wonder who the "shawty" will look like, or what designer clothes to purchase on the taxpayers or grandparents dime, or figure out who's going to watch the kid, while they're hanging at the mall or gettin' their club on.
In either case, Married Couples, Teens, or Casual Sexers who parent, give little to no consideration to the type of PARENT they'll become. However, once that line is crossed, and the child is conceived and brought into THIS world, a lifelong job of awesome responsibility begins.
Parenting is terribly complicated, and in a society where working outside of the home is the norm for both, single and married parents, the task to improve parenting skills has become increasingly difficult. Parenthood, however, is still the most important responsibility we’ll ever have in our lives, and that choice should be entered with a willing heart and a prayerful spirit, for the behaviors we project to our children are the foundational building blocks in forming the generation to come.
While great emphasis is placed on our homes, cars, wardrobe, and furthering our ministries and careers, many of us neglect to realize, the time and values we invest in our children far outweigh the material gains we acquire, for our legacy lies in the future of our children.
The problems, which exist among today’s children and in our families, have far exceeded epidemic proportions. Did you SEE the VIDEO???? Yes, they stem from a variety of circumstances, but the nucleus of the problem remains the same: lack of discipline, supervision, spiritual guidance and foundation, and the need for a clear, concise solution is long overdue.
Baby Daddy, and Baby Mama drama are terms tossed around just as loosely as the children who are the product of these relationships. For the most part, these children are a growing number thrust into a throw away society because nobody took the time, and thought about the lasting effect, a few minutes of "pleasure" would create.
Our children are being raised in an environment of hate, poverty, low self-esteem, jealousy, envy and unappreciative greed. Aggression, hostility and depression, are on the rise. Recent studies indicate (1988), today’s youth are more violent, than in any period of American History. Unfortunately, the school systems, television media, or any media typically chosen blameworthy, are not the problem. Before a child reaches the school, or the remote control, the pattern of ambiguous behavior has already been set -- by the parent.
We are under siege by a plague of spiritual and emotional maladjustment. Our local and national newspapers are OVERFLOWING DAILY with family related tragedies: Father knifes Daughter, Son bludgeons Mother, Sister strangles Brother, Brother shoots Sister, Wife poisons Husband, Husband dismembers Wife. I think you get the picture.
Senseless school massacres, have become common place. Generally following a tragic occurrence on this scale, the parents, IF they’re still alive, are questioned about their child’s behavioral patterns, academic achievements, daily routine, and how they possibly could have obtained guns, ammunition and other weaponry. The reply will usually be, “Well….,He’s always been a good boy .. . smart, quiet, kept to himself . . . or, we had no idea our child was involved in something like this.” They’ll shake their heads in disbelief, followed by a woeful sigh and tears of sorrow as they give their apologies and condolences to the victims’ families. BUT .......if you ask the neighbors what they've witnessed with regard to the child’s activities, SOMETIMES they seem to have a bit more insight, yet, often have no clue what’s going on in their own home.
I'm not making this stuff up, and these instances ARE NOT the result of my morbid imagination—these are true accounts, events occurring all too frequently, and has only escalated over the past 22 years. Children are killing children, parents are killing children, parents are killing each other, children are killing…. – Oh it’s just insane! There was a story recently of a Father who didn't want to pay child support, his solution....KILL THE CHILD!
Don’t bother to look for the pattern to explain this type of madness—there is none. A demonic plague such as this has no barrier of race, culture, or geographical location, and many of us are deceived, believing problems like this can’t or won’t present themselves in our own families.
Check back for PT. 2 Tomorrow
