DISCLAIMER: I am NOT INSENSITIVE to the circumstances surrounding being a parent raising a child(ren) on your own, or not having the benefit of a loving father, or positive male role model in the home....That's not my personal experience. I also realize we are a product of our environment and unless drastic changes in the opposite direction are made, we tend to fall into the patterns that preceed us.
MOTHERS W/O PARTNERS
Please let the Fathers HAVE THEIR DAY, and Stop saying you're both Mother and Father. You may not love him, or even like him anymore....and there could be a laundry list of reasons WHY your Child(ren)s' father is not with you...but Why aren't they with their Children? Certainly if a man doesn't own the responsibility for his Children in EVERY WAY he's not a GOOD father...NONETHELESS HE IS Your Child(rens) FATHER!
My first question to a woman who says that, is EXACTLY WHAT do you mean when you say you're both Mother and Father? I NEVER get a direct answer!
Typically, the answer will be something along the line of... I do EVERYTHING for my child, I take them to baseball practice, football practice, soccer, music lessons, "teach him to pee in the toilet", I teach my child right from wrong, all about sex and have to discipline them, I wash, cook & clean.....ALL BY MYSELF!
Followed by...You don't know my struggle, you haven't walked in my shoes, so on and so forth. Well let me ask a question, especially if you were raised in a one parent home....Didn't you know it was going to be rough? Don't you remember how hard it was for your parent to keep food on the table and a roof over your head? Did you not think about ALL THAT before you acted? But now, you want to claim being both Mother and Father.... Come on ladies... Seriously?
Yes I know about mistakes...and accidents happen blah, blah... but the SAME ACCIDENT happening to the SAME PERSON yielding the SAME result is suspect.
I know this ain't you....BUT A LOT Of women are claiming Dual Parenthood, because in fact THEY HAVE NO IDEA Who the Child(rens) Father is....and That's all Ima say about that!
Before you say it... I already know what you're thinking, I'm being too harsh...I'm not being sensitive to the plight of Mothers raising children on their own... well what about this? How sensitive are you to your own situation especially if you've found yourself here multiple times? If I tackled, KNOCKED YOU DOWN and RESCUED you from being crushed by an 18 wheel truck, but you broke your arm... would you say I was being too harsh? No.... you got hurt by my actions, but your life was spared! The Same principle applies.
I will repeat, I Know the list is long as to why these children's father is not present in their life...but if I can suggest looking at what YOU may have done, or said (if anything) to contribute to his absence, because Rarely if ever...and I did say rarely, do I hear women claim ANY RESPONSIBILITY to Why their "man" isn't around.
If the baby daddy is SO "No Good" When did you KNOW THIS? You had to have seen SOME SIGNS that he may possibly be not the right candidate to have a child with? You may have even been warned REPEATEDLY...but that final choice was yours, and unless he raped you... YOU CONSENTED!
I want you to again remember this is not an indictment on you and your particular situation, but when you attempt to take something, i.e FATHERS DAY.. and it does not belong to you.... THAT'S THEFT and PUNISHABLE to your CHILDREN by depriving them of a balanced upbringing, if the dad chooses to care for his children.
I still don't understand how you eat the sour grapes by claiming in one breath you claim "You Don't Need a Man" and then fashion your mouth to say You're A Father! Why do you need to be Father if a Man isn't necessary... Just be Mom, after all that's ALL YOU CAN BE!
So Mothers, please make better choices for WHO YOU DECIDE to Father your Children!
PASTORS/SPIRITUAL LEADERS
This goes to the MILLIONS of Pastors and Church Leaders who will get up in the pulpit tomorrow morning from store fronts to Mega Churches and salute Fathers...BUT ALSO give an Honorable Mention to Mothers... If you call yourself a Man or Woman of
God, you are in ERROR, OUT OF ORDER and in DIRECT VIOLATION according to the COMMANDMENT of EXODUS 20:12.
To minimize and downplay the role of a Father by applauding, and congratulating Mothers for DOING THEIR JOB, regardless of how hard it is, is a slap in the face to the Body of Christ, the office you hold, GOD, His Kingdom and people YOU serve, and gives LICENSE and adds unmerited acceptance to the "You don't need a man" syndrome Most single women bear allegiance to.
If you are teaching your people correctly, they will ALREADY KNOW the enmity the enemy has FOR THE WOMAN, and your message should reinforce the need for a Spiritual covering of a HUSBAND and not that it's just OK to keep having children out of wedlock just because your congregation is 85.5% (made up statistic) women and single ones with children at that.
Mothers...you're crying over your LOST SONS and DAUGHTERS! Do you think this is a coincidence? Do you realize when you fill your childs head with negativity against their father you are ALLOWING YOUR CHILD TO DISHONOR THEM? Thereby shortening your OWN CHILDS LIFE? The word clearly says "Honor Thy FATHER and THY Mother THAT THY DAYS SHALL BE LONG"..... Not If He act right, or does right by you.
As the strong woman you say you are you should be able to SEPARATE the RELATIONSHIP between you and your X from the Relationship they have with their Child(ren) that's what STRONG, GROWN WOMEN DO! Not bitch and moan (yeah I said it) about how sorry their dad is. And in the case where multiple fathers are involved and you're singing the same sad song.... it's time to take a look REALLY CLOSE LOOK at who you're laying with and make some adjustments.
A REALLY STRONG Woman would recognize the fact her children need their Father in their life, and be able to separate the relationship with their man, and the childrens relationship with their father and do whatever it takes to make that happen instead of playing games and using the children as a pawn in a crazy game of manipulation and control. (Nobody really does that I'm just making it up)
And don't get me wrong in the case of abuse and abusive fathers they absolutely should not have access to your children, but if you're raising them according to the word, you will STILL not dishonor the man, whether he is honorable or not.
BABY DADDIES
If you're that guy who jumps from woman to woman dropping seed....walking away, and had recurring appearances on Maury..you know who I'm talking about... the one who's lost count of how many children you've fathered, or have trouble remembering all their names...I pray your babymaker FALLS OFF! If that doesn't happen I pray a spirit of DISCERNMENT if not just plain COMMON SENSE fall HEAVILY on the women and girls you prey on just to get your sexual satisfaction.
LITTLE GIRLS
Stop having BABY WARS to see who can have the most kids by "RICO" or whatever his name is! I don't know WHO you're watching and listening to, but you're not giving yourself a fair chance at life, and you certainly aren't contributing to a healthy society creating more "pleasure babies"
On "SINGLE PARENTING"
I'm going ON NOTICE THIS DAY by telling you that term is an OXYMORON! Many want to know HOW...It's very simple! It takes 2 PEOPLE One man, One Woman to make a baby. This fete can NOT be accomplished "Singularly". So it only stands to reason that If you, whether male or female are raising children without the assistance of the other party, you are a Parent but SOMEWHERE there is another half! The word SINGLE speaks ONLY to your Relationship status, or lack there of, and NOT YOUR RELATIONSHIP with your Child(ren). i.e., Your role as parent may be expanded in a ONE-PARENT home, but you STILL don't get to claim BOTH!
FINALLY....FATHERS!
Today I Salute you...those who discipline, nurture, protect and provide mental, financial, emotional and yes spiritual support and a sense of well being for your children. If you're a Dad who is not in the home with your Child(ren) my prayer is that the mothers open their eyes and their hearts and give you the necessary latitude to be effective in positively molding and impacting your childrens life.
Ok.... I'm Done!
Happy Father's Day
